UPDATE ON "JAKE"

Monday, May 08, 2006

I want to do a follow-up on the 2 ½ year old, “Jake”. I had several women comment to me, “How could she place him for adoption” and “what about the sister”.

“Judge not”. The web page doesn’t tell the whole story. I think Mom realized that she wasn’t able to give Jake what he needed. She said she would be “overly mothering” at times and “angry/frustrated” at other times. She wanted more for Jake than she saw herself giving him. That caused her pain and hurt Jake. I don’t know the role of step-dad in all this. Addiction issues were a concern.

Since the placement, mom called me daily to see how Jake was doing. She has received a few picture/letter in the form of scrap book pages from the adoptive couple. She knows how well Jake is doing in his new home. Jake loves his new parents, calling them mom and dad already. He has the full attention of 2 adults that are thrilled to have him. Adoptive mom commented that after Jake was in her home a short time, she cried and cried because she felt so blessed to have him and couldn’t remember not having him. In a short time, she and dad are so connected that it would be difficult to loose him. They have been to the park, on walks, visited cousins, attended church and more. If Jake suffers from being placed for adoption at the age of 2 ½, just think about what he might suffer if he stayed in his original home.

Birth Mom appeared with me and the attorney before the Judge. She was clear in stating that she knew what she was doing and felt it was in the best interest of her child. I agree with her. Jake is free of the conflict that was happening in the home. Unfortunately, the 6 year old sister and baby brother are still in the home. I believe that mom and her family are connected enough to sister that she will be safe. I think sister could see what was happening to her brother and knows he is in a better place.

I will share with you that Jake is thriving in his new home. I also think that Mom has a better chance in being successful in her life. She has completed flagging school and started working. So, now when you look at a female flagers—be nice, maybe it is her, and think about how brave and unselfish she was. She sacrificed her feelings in order to give her son a better life.