Thursday, May 7, 2009


Tuesday, March 21, 2006

(names have been changed)

Several years ago I met Sarah. She wanted to move out of the area in order to keep her pregnancy confidential. I met with her briefly, offered support and sent her to another office. Jim, birth father, was in my service area, so I worked with him. He was not interested in placing his child for adoption; however, he said he would consider what Sarah wanted. I explained that Sarah wanted to place their child for adoption so they could both go forward with their lives as individuals. Sarah loved her child, but wanted a mother and father raising her baby.

In an attempt to connect with Jim at our first meeting, I talked about things that that he was interested in. I learned that he loved the outdoors (hunting, fishing), enjoying these activities with his father as he grew up. I shared with him that I had a brother who was also an outdoorsman and the joy it brought into his life.

As part of the process to encourage Jim to consider adoption, the three of us met to look at adoptive couple profiles, hoping Sarah and Jim could agree on a couple. They could not find a couple that met what they were both looking for.

I continued to meet with Jim. At one visit, he asked about my brother. He said he wanted his son to grow up like his did, in a family involved in hunting and fishing. This “love” had been passed from father to son for several generations. He asked if my brother would consider adopting a child. I was surprised by his question. I explained that my brother and his wife had 2 daughters (12 and 14 years old) and weren’t able to conceive again. They wanted more children, but no more children came into their home. Sarah wanted her child to go to a home that did not have children, but was willing to consider this option in order to work with Jim. As it turned out, my brother’s family was thrilled at the possibility of adopting another child. Letters and pictures were exchanged before Sarah and Jim decided this family was right for their child. Sarah chose to meet the adoptive couple (my brother and his wife).

A beautiful baby boy was born to Sarah. When he was a few days old, Sarah placed “Hunter” in my brother’s arms. He is a wonderful child and both his families love him very much. As he has grown, he has a strong interest in hunting, camping, fishing and the great outdoors. He is a combination of his birth father and adoptive father, as well as birth mother and adoptive mother.

Recently, Sarah invited me to attend her temple wedding. We have kept in touch throughout the years. She served a mission and will soon graduate from college. It seemed odd to sit in a room with so many people and not feel a part of the group. Very few people there knew who I was because of the confidentiality of Sarah’s choice. After the ceremony, one by one, the attendees (important people to the newly weds) walked past the couple to congratulate them. As I approached Sarah, I started to cry. I was touched emotionally to be able to share in this important event. Crying, I embraced her and whispered in her ear that I loved her and was happy for her. Now she was starting her own eternal family.

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