THEY CAME IN THREES

Saturday, May 27, 2006

What a week! Three of the girls and I am working with delivered this week: Saturday morning, Sunday evening and Tuesday afternoon. I did the final placement today. Two of the girls seemed to sail through easily. The last placement, today, was a struggle. Birth Mom had been firm in her decision to place, but struggled when it came time to say goodbye. She previously had an emotional time before the baby was born, but was able to talk her way through her feelings. (This is normal.) She got caught up on, "Is this really the right things to do?" When the adoptive couple arrived from out of state, she struggled again but decided to meet them even though she wasn't sure what she was going to do. (This time she was faced with the "finality" of her decision.) Once she met them, she had the reassurance and peace she needed to follow through. More evidence for Hero Status.

When I say, "What a week!", it is nothing to compare to the week these women had. I was just trying to keep up with the paperwork, be supportive and get everything done. Each placement was so different and each young woman is coping in her own way. Tuesday we will have Group and celebrate the birth of the babies with brownies and ice cream.

About three years ago, I had the "Three's" in March. I had barely found out about a birth mom in Alaska when I received the call that the baby was born. I flew to Alaska the next day. Just before I left, Emmy had her baby. I was able to visit her after delivery, but wasn't around for the placement. While in Alaska, another girl delivered. I was able to get home before the placement. The birth mom in Alaska had chosen a couple that lived in Germany (temporary due to military assignment). I was able to meet the adoptive couple briefly and introduce them to the volunteer so she could do the placement.

Some one in the office that was observing the happenings of the week (she adopted 20 years ago) commented that she liked the way adoption was done in all those years ago. She didn't feel comfortable with the information that birth parents had. I hear this type of comment often. I have worked with Birth Parents for 16 years. Over the years, a birth mother has been given more options and power in the process. I think it is a great improvement and helps in the healing process.