Thursday, December 25, 2008

Rip Your Heart Out

This was a "phrase" I heard from Tara----rip your heart out. When I talk to birth moms now, I tell them that placing your child will feel like having your heart riped out of your soul. In the beginning, the pain is so strong from the loose that it feels like you might die. I don't know how to prepare someone for what she might feel. All the spiritual confirmation, good decision making skills, planning and more----it all seems to leave when the grief pours into one's heart.

Just recently, a young girl called me the day after placement. She said, "I think I have made the wrong decision. I want my baby back." All I got was a message on my cell phone. I called and called her, but we didn't connect until she texted me and said---I am taking a sleeping pill and will call you later. A few days later, I finally reached her by phone. She sounded like a different person. She told me that she told her mother to "back off" (she had been encouraging her to single parent because of the pain). She said that once she got some sleep, the pain lessened a little. She had also heard from the adoptive couple and knew that they would continue to "honor" her. She said, "I know I have made the right decision". She also told me that she wanted to talk to other girls to help them through the process. That is a success story to me. I know it is not a total "happy ending". I know that she will still have tear, questions and sad times--especially at night. My hope is that this experience will give her new insight into herself and see the courage she has displayed. If you can place your baby for adoption, I think you can do almost anything.

I don't live in SLC, but recently visited. I just wanted to share some beautiful photos to lighten up this blog.

Christmas Eve Party--Part II

Same Party--Another Story

Besides being greeted by Kate, Kristi also showed up. I had not seen her for even more years than Kate. Kristi is now 27 years old and was adopted. She has recently found her birth mom and shared that experience with me. She has always felt "fine about beint adopted" but finally decided she wanted to know more. Fortunately for her, she was able to find her birth mom and meet her husband, children and parents. She also met the birth father's family. However, birth father had recently passed away. Kristi is going to share her story with me and I will ad it to this blog. She said it has been quite an experience. She still has contact with her birth mom and loves her parents who supported her in "searching".

She said that meeting her birht mom helped her to feel thankful for being adopted because she has had a good life and loves having a father in her life.

More to come on this one...............

Christmas Eve Party


On Christmas Eve, I went to a party a friend's home. Much to my surprise, I was greeted by Kate who I had not seen since she served as an intern for me several years ago. She has since completed her bachelors in social work and worked for LDS Family Services in Salt Lake City for a few years. We were "taking shop" and catching up. Much to my surprise, she said that she "loved birth mother work". I think it takes a special person to do this. Kate said that her favorite part was helping girls (birth moms). I agreed.

I shared with her my desire to reach out to more girls. I told her that I wanted to start an organization that was for birth moms that have placed. I wanted to have money to help girls go forward in life and heal, maybe even go to school. I wanted to create an organization to do all the things I wanted to help these girls. She agreed. So, I told her she needed to find out a way to do that. She informed me that she was not creative in business--just as I was not. I have thought of writing a grant, but have not taken action on that. I decided that if I continue to talk about the idea, maybe someone will help it "explode" into reality.

So to all those that read--------pass the word. I/We want to build a organization for

All Birth Moms

that want to be a part of this organization that provide support to other girls.
You are not alone.

Taken at the Salt Lake Temple grounds. Joseph and Mary are floating on the relection pool. Remember that Jesus was also adopted by Joseph. Adoption has been around for many years.


Christmas Day 2008
I have been meaning to "start over" for some time. (My blog that is.) I created my "first" Birth Mother Horoes Blog several years ago. As time passed, I really got into blogging and started more blogs for personal resons. In the process, all my blogs got confussed and some were lost. I could find my Birth Mother Heroes blog, but couldn't log-in. Finally, I decided to start a new blog and call it PART II. I will also try to import the first blog or at least create a link. This way I can continue with what I started.

SO, once again.......
to a blog that honors the girls I work with,
the lives I come in contact with through my experience,
to the ones I might never meet, but learn of through the internet.
My hope is to reach out to more birth moms (recent and long ago)and help these women connect to others. Together we can create a great organizaion of strength, support, knowlege, hertiage, and more. I will try to be better at posting more often.
Adoption would not happen with out
Birth Mother Heroes
To view my "first" birth mother blog, click on