WONDERING

Thursday, December 15, 2005

I had driven to Oregon for the weekend to spend some time with my step daughter and her family. She was about 4 years old when her daddy and I got married. She has been a part of our family since that time by visiting over the summer for several weeks. We have grown close over the years. Although I am not her “mother” and her mom is alive and involved in her life, we still enjoy each other and I am a grandma to her 5 children.

As I was driving home alone, I had time to think. I was reflecting on the stress I was experiencing due to the holidays. I thought to myself (since I was alone, I actually had time to think. In fact, that is about all I could do was think or listen to the radio.) I decided I didn’t like the stress I was experiencing with the holidays and wondered what I could do about it. I have learned in the last few years that I am more insightful than I thought I was if I “wonder”. That is when my insights or revelations come. It is really cool, actually, and a gift I tell myself to use more often.So, I was wondering what I could do different next Christmas season.

I came up with some ideas:

1. I will put a little money aside from each pay check to be saved up for Christmas gift giving. I get stressed out over spending, even if there is money to spend. I decided if I plan for the money, save it up, I will feel less stressed and enjoy the process of gift giving more.

2. I will take a lesson from my daughter. She comes up with thoughtful gifts. I am going to think about the person (that is close to wondering) throughout the year and gather ideas of what I think they might enjoy for Christmas. I can even purchase it anytime I desire.

3. If I decide to do Christmas cards, I will do it over the Thanksgiving Holiday so it isn’t so rushed.

4. I will spend the entire year, making the gifts I want to make so they are done prior to Thanksgiving time. That will give me pleasure all year as I am able to create gifts for others.

My point in sharing these ideas that are probably so simple to someone else, are:

1. I think it is important to learn from our life experiences. So often we go through difficult challenges only to repeat them in some form because we didn’t learn. I think it is important that we find positive lessons in life experience. A positive learning empowers the learner and is used to help the future. What a shame it would be for a woman to place her baby for adoption and never see the positive in the experience.

2. “Wondering” is a way to let insights come. The brain is an amazing thing. It wants to help us work things out. Take time to wonder sometimes and see what comes.If something isn’t working in your life, you can continue to do the same thing over and over or decide to do something different. Too often, women continue in unhealthy relationships rather that deciding she will do something different. I hope that these words help someone take charge of her life in a new way. I find life to be an amazing experience, especially when I am aware.