BETH

Sunday, December 11, 2005

I smile just thinking of her…I met Beth over 14 years ago. She came to the office, barely pregnant and already deciding she was going to place the baby for adoption. Her mother was devastated. The night Beth told her parents, her mom jumped into a car and took off driving until she was pulled over by a cop. One look at the woman’s tear stained face and the coped asked, “did you just find out your daughter is pregnant?” Mom cried some more and eventually returned home. (Most girls tell me it wasn’t so bad telling the parents.)

Beth was an energetic and positive girl. She seemed to make the best of a difficult situation. She felt it was in her child’s best interest to be placed for adoption with a family that had 2 parents and the ability to care for a child. She looked at adoptive couple profiles and immediately identified a couple that she knew was right for her child. (Back then all she could look at was a one page profile with non-identifying information.) She told me she felt good about them and that they were “the ones”.

Beth and I continued to meet together weekly, talking through adoption issues and family concerns. She decided to move into a foster home as she went through this process. She stayed with 2 families that were loving and supportive. Beth shared with me how she became pregnant—sounded like date rape to me. She had been at a home with a young man that she was just “hanging out” with. When she came out of the bath room, he pounced on her and the next thing she knew, she was pregnant. She knew her life style had lead to this consequence.

Being pregnant was an opportunity for Beth to decide where she was going in life. She used this time as an opportunity for change. As uncomfortable as she became, she still had an infectious laugh. I remember her coming into group and calling herself a “beached whale” as she would lie on the floor, searching for a way to be comfortable. The adult group coordinator, at the time, thought this was inappropriate and would become frustrated with her. I thought Beth was cute and just a young girl trying to get through a difficult time.In the weekly group meetings, Beth became friends with the other girls—we had a big group then. We knew when each was due, what the sex of the baby was and if the decision was: place, keep, undecided.

Beth is 32 years old now. We still keep in touch. Her daughter is 14 years old and was placed for adoption. The above mentioned group coordinator no longer helps out (thank goodness). Beth married and had 4 more children. Her children all know about her first daughter. She is a fun, energetic and excellent mother. That marriage didn’t last (she found a man that was immature and selfish), eventually ending in divorce. Once again, Beth chose to learn from her experience rather than be bitter.

She has recently remarried and is thriving.Beth has been an example to me with her faith in Heavenly Father. I admire her energy, positive attitude and joy in life. Because of what she has been through, she has wanted to help other girls. At one time, she was the “group coordinator”. You can bet she didn’t get frustrated with girls that lay on the floor. Beth sees adoption as a positive experience in her life. Even with the limited information she received from her adoptive couple (at that time she wasn’t able to meet or see a photo of them and only received pictures for 6 months), she knows what she did was right for her and her daughter. She hopes some day to meet her oldest child.