SEARCHING

I heard from a co-worker today that

ADOPTION.COM

was a good source to search as an adopted or as an adoptee.

I believe it is free and there is no age requirement. I think each part just need to be searching.

WEB PAGE FOR BIRTH MOMS

I worte this almost a year ago and never posted it...........

Tara and I are hoping that she can get the Web page for birth moms up and going soon. It seems that other work matters take too much of our time. She has some great ideas and lots of resources to help girls. We are excited about the possibilities. I went through my old phone numbers and I am having someone call past birth moms to ask for email addresses. This is exciting to me, to reconnect to some of the girls. During this process, I am getting phone calls from girls, wanting to reconnect. In fact, Alisse called me today saying that she had a strong feeling that she needed to call me and wanted to offer her help in any way that I might need help for other birth moms. Exciting! She is even going to come to group.

.............now for back to present time.......We have been busy this year reworking the birth parent program. The web page is moving along. My goal has been to get what "I do" all down on paper in an organized manner, so other people would know how to help and what to do. I am surprised at how long it has taken, but pleased to see the project come about. Along with the organizing, we have created various check-lists and continued to find more resources for birth moms. We have been reading books. We are doing classes for adopting couples.

Today, we had a secretary training so that they can become more efficient in the adoption area as well. Time savers gives me more hands-on time.

RETURN FOR HELP

One afternoon, the secretary came to my office telling me my appointment was here. I was concerned because I didn’t have an appointment that I knew about and was afraid I double booked or something. I went to peer into the waiting room and saw that it was a past birth mom from 2 years ago. I greeted her and asked her into my office. I was surprised because about 2 years ago, this birth mom had been rude and the office had been through a big conflict with her and the birth father.

She greeted me and said she wanted to return to group. She asked me if I could help her place her baby (now 2 years old) for adoption with the couple she had picked before. She and her child had maintained contact with this couple. She said she was too young to understand all there was to parenting. She was sorry for what she had done and she wanted a better life for her daughter now.

Now, you can all think what you want. I was just pleased that she felt safe enough to return to the office to talk to me. I told her I would do what I could to help her.

After many months, her child was officially adopted by the original couple. I consider this a miracle.

Group picture of some of the girls at

2009 Birth Mother Retreat

at Zions Camp.

There are more photos on Birthmother Seattle on FaceBook.

CLARA'S CALL

Name has been changed-----

On the Tuesday following the retreat, I received a phone call from a birth mom that I worked with 18 years ago. I remember her and she remembers me and told me that she had thought of me often throughout the years. (that was a positive thing) What stands out for about this woman was when she said, "I just don't think I can do it", meaning live through placing her child for adoption. I was surprised when she chose to place. And, she did live through it.

She had another support woman in her life and had not kept in touch with me. Now that her daughter that she placed had turned 18 years old, she called me to tell me she was thinking of me and just wondering if I knew anything. I told her about the retreat and how I would love her support in the "work" that we all hope to do. She was so excited. With an email to another office, she will now be trained to do adoption presentations and work with birth mothers in her area. She said, this was her dream come true-------to "give back". Funny, I already thought she had given. I am also thrilled to reconnect to a woman from my past work and to know that she will have much to offer others.

We hope to connect at the upcoming FSA Conference in Portland in November.

RETREAT #2 AT ZION'S CAMP

September 11 - 13, 2009

I arrived at camp a little late because I was coordinating picking up at the airport, packing, making brownies and transporting people. I must say, it was fun from the start and the brownies came in handy on the drive to camp. Upon arrive, we unpacked and started visiting. We had a total of 15 women join this retreat. People were talking past 2 a.m., which is when I finally passed out.

The next day, besides eating, we did some self exploration activities which ended in each of of waving out paper in the air and calling out----"teacher, what does this mean". Cute. We "self explored" several times during our stay.

We also enjoyed the lake, that is until someone polluted it by sweeping geese poop into the water. Not everyone came prepared with a swim suit. Those who did not, enjoyed swimming in our clothing. I just say, getting out of a lake wearing jeans is heavy work. I enjoyed a few jumps on the lifeguard seat until I was told it was "against the rules".

Before leaving camp, we all met to share our closing remarks about our stay. One shared that she had been "praying for friends" and know felt that she had many many new friends. The healing from attending and connecting was great. Another pregnant shared that she now felt that she would be able to place for adoption because she could see that others had done so and survived.

I had been joined by a friend that was there to help do some presentations. In the closing moments she thanked the girls for letting her share in the retreat and expressed interest in joining whenever she was invited and could attend. She honored them for who there were and appreciated their sacrifices. She told the girls, "I think this is what (the connecting and sharing and sisterhood) is what Relief Society if supposed to be like." I agreed and told them to go forth to grow and share with others.

Yes, it was a fun time. It was also, I hope, the beginning of more healing and taking forth a positive message about adoption. I asked the girls to share in the work that I hope to take forward with their help. There are plenty to "get on board" now.

I look forward to next year, more fun and to see what we can accomplish in the next year.

SECOND ANNUAL BIRTH MOM RETREAT

The second Birth Mom Retreat is scheduled for September 11 - 13 at Zion's Camp. We will be meeting there around 7 p.m. I look forward to lots of fun, sharing and connecting. We will paddle boat, journal, walk, eat, talk and more.

I just got a call today from Beth telling me that she and Nicole would be coming. Hooray. Two more to share the fun.

Tara will be teaching a class on personal growth. Julie A. will be doing "Malory Drawing" for personal insight. Sunday, we hope to top of the weekend with personal growth.

Thanks to the internet which includes blogs, web site and facebook, Tara and I are expanding our outreach to girls from as far back as my beginnings at LDS FS. If Aubrie comes, that would be my second birth mom I ever worked with. Tara has even connected to women that did not work with the agency, but wants to participate in the support.

2008 Retreat